It’s time, boys and girls, for another edition of Unnecessary Metaphors! For the newcomers among us, this is a game where I court inexplicable search engine hits by creating metaphors for things that don’t need them, and in fact probably shouldn’t have them. Something like nine months after my last edition, hits from “metaphor for bear” are still the second most common search that finds my site after the boring, obvious one (Rhiannon Held Silver).
Today’s: metaphor for spoons (and bonus forks!)
Spoons are like taking a box to the kitten room at the animal shelter. You can load it up with kitteny goodness and pick it up and hold it to your chest until you are filled with the satisfaction of fuzzy cuteness. A box is well-designed for maximum satisfaction, scooping up many kittens at once, so you don’t have to put up with tiny bits of fuzzy love, one at a time.
Forks are like arriving at the shelter sans box. You have your hands, which are perfectly sized and shaped for kitten-grabbing. But you can only get one, or possibly two at once! It allows you to savor the joy of each kitten individually, but it doesn’t give you the same overwhelming feeling of fuzzy love. On the other hand, it’s much more precise. No kitten will escape over the edge of your box! So you must chose your kitten delivery system carefully, based on your mood, and also the squirminess of your kittens.
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