The other day I splurged on a geeky impulse purchase (here for the curious) and I’ve been package tracking its journey across the country since then. It’s funny how I’ve come to take that for granted–I got something else recently from an Amazon independent seller that didn’t bother to put up any tracking info, and I began to doubt it would ever arrive.
Today, my T-shirt package sent me a cryptic email: “TRANSPORTATION ACCIDENT OCCURRED”
Of course, the scientist in me wanted to know immediately what had happened. Did the truck crash? Did the warehouse sorting machinery break down? Did someone put it on the wrong conveyor belt? To confuse the issue it seems to be bouncing back and forth:
Hodgkins, IL, United States 02/09/2011 7:58 P.M. Arrival Scan
Indianapolis, IN, United States 02/09/2011 6:04 P.M. Departure Scan
Hodgkins, IL, United States 02/09/2011 5:00 A.M. Transportation accident occurred.
Indianapolis, IN, United States 02/09/2011 5:01 A.M. Arrival Scan
I’m thinking space-time portal. Someone forget to double-check their calculations, and pitched it through the portal so quick it arrived before it had left.
Back when I was assuming the truck crashed, I had lots of other ideas too. I mean, just imagine the scene: the crumpled wreckage of the multi-car pile-up, the UPS truck with the smashed nose, flames licking hungrily past the cab, toward the back, and the brave driver, tossing packages one by one out onto the snow, saving one cardboard life at a time! Can he make it? He’s coughing and wiping streaming eyes, but the packages still inside are screaming!
Screaming with little cardboard voices!
Leave a Reply