{"id":135,"date":"2011-03-28T18:43:51","date_gmt":"2011-03-29T01:43:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rhiannonheld.com\/?p=135"},"modified":"2023-12-25T16:29:22","modified_gmt":"2023-12-26T00:29:22","slug":"damn-you-mountain-deeeeeeew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rhiannonheld.com\/?p=135","title":{"rendered":"Damn you, Mountain Deeeeeeew!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The short stories replies have arrived, and both of them are back out on to their next destination. Hopefully tonight I&#8217;ll also have some time to jot down some notes about legal fu for book three that I got from my friend the lawyer when I was visiting her this weekend. (It still seems strange: we met when we were wee back in undergrad and now I&#8217;m a novelist and she&#8217;s a lawyer!)<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, I hate having the caffeine tolerance of an underweight chipmunk. Even an entire can of Diet Cola all at once is actually too much for me (I know, I know), and I cannot, under pain of a terrible night, drink any caffeine after lunch.<\/p>\n<p>So soda was on sale at the store a few weeks back. And it was some brand I&#8217;ve never heard of before, but it said it was &#8220;citrus&#8221;. I like citrus! And then I brought it home and the penny dropped that it was being bold and copying Mountain Dew without the usual generic name contortions. (I looked it up, and it&#8217;s <em>hilarious<\/em>: just look at this <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Generic_citrus_sodas\">link<\/a>) Apparently citrus is accepted code for what I just think of &#8220;yellow-flavored HOLYGODI&#8217;MANXIOUS juice&#8221;. That&#8217;s kind of long to fit on the bottle. Anyway. I figured that if the caffeine was higher, I&#8217;d just drink <em>less<\/em>. Easy, right? But that&#8217;s like halving a recipe that calls for one egg: at some point, the divisions just get so fiddly that it ceases to function. One mouthful for an entire morning just didn&#8217;t seem right somehow, and anyway I was just drinking as I worked&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Long story short, I spend the morning at work functioning in wired anxiety. I needed to finish! To finish on time! I needed to finish RIGHT NOW. Finish this project with no real time constraints, but I&#8217;d started it and now I was going to finish it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.<\/p>\n<p>I do not like being on too much caffeine. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n<p>But I reached the ground again after lunch and I&#8217;m relaxing now. The &#8220;citrus&#8221; soda is sitting in my fridge, the level about half an inch lower than it began, laughing. You can&#8217;t bring yourself to waste me, it mocks. I will just sit here in your fridge for eternity&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The short stories replies have arrived, and both of them are back out on to their next destination. Hopefully tonight I&#8217;ll also have some time to jot down some notes about legal fu for book three that I got from my friend the lawyer when I was visiting her this weekend. (It still seems strange: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,16,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anecdotes","category-humor-around-me","category-short-stories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Damn you, Mountain Deeeeeeew! - Rhiannon Held \/ R. Z. Held<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/rhiannonheld.com\/?p=135\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Damn you, Mountain Deeeeeeew! - Rhiannon Held \/ R. Z. Held\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The short stories replies have arrived, and both of them are back out on to their next destination. Hopefully tonight I&#8217;ll also have some time to jot down some notes about legal fu for book three that I got from my friend the lawyer when I was visiting her this weekend. (It still seems strange: [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/rhiannonheld.com\/?p=135\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Rhiannon Held \/ R. Z. 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